the Penultimate Peril (thanks Lemony...)

I am in the midst of the second to last treatment...phew.
and due to some mind over matter actions, things are going pretty smoothly....
granted, I'm still in bed and its 12:30.....

the last few treatments have been a bit rougher, a little longer lasting, harder to shake off.
then of course in between we keep talking about how its getting harder....
so yesterday, heading in for treatment it was a bit harder to muster the 'no problem, I got this' attitude.
I was a little more anxious, a little more nervous.
but with the help of a positive attitude readjustment (and some modern pharmaceuticals) I'm feeling okay today.

when you feel lousy, it helps to at least look good...
thus I've been waxing my mustache into dandy curls,
and this morning I tried a jaunty new tie knot...

in between, the holidays happened and they were fun and exhausting... back to school is creeping up on me. I'm glad to be finished with (at least the last half of) 2012 and looking forward to a great and healthy 2013! here's a flashback update on treatment 10, and in a couple days there will be a toast and update on number 11, hope it stays smooth.........

IT'S OFFICIAL

finally enough fell out, I couldn't take it anymore...

AS THREE QUARTERS FADES IN THE RAINY DUSK

treatment number 9 has concluded!
only 3 left,
such a tiny, manageable number...

I owe a post for number 8, also.
as that one finished up on Thanksgiving, I thought it fitting to make a list of all that I am thankful for.
as I formed the list in my mind, it grew longer and more formidable, and my great of leaving any thing or any one out grew.... I think it is important to shout your thanks into the wind, so that
list is coming....

for now I head into the busy, yet enjoyable holiday season, counting the days until this road is done for me, and I can go back to being a person, to leave being a cancer patient behind, move on to that honored club of cancer survivors, and hopefully leave that behind too.

I am a person, with a bump in his road, almost behind him,
and so much ahead.

THANK YOU, WHOEVER, FOR CUTTING ME SOME SLACK....

So, number 7 is over.
and for some reason, it was relatively easy.....
which is a surprise. Last treatment was a bear.
And not a nice cuddly bear,
but a mean ugly bear.

And this time around, I'm not saying it was fun,
cause spending 2 days in bed because even your hair feels poisoned
isn't fun.... but come friday night this time,
I felt okay to join the family on a dinner outing.

I'm sort of surprised,
I thought I was going into this round pretty wiped out.
Parent teacher conferences last week,
as much fun as they were,
they were also exhausting......
I'd much rather put out the energy with thirty 8 year olds,
than to hang with their parents for 8 hours, two days in a row...
no offense, folks.

This, I'm thrilled to say, is the first time I've felt like
there's not many of these left.  I've done 7, and I only have 5 left...
I've got more behind me than in front,
and that feels good.

I've changed my work schedule a little.
I'm going to be taking a little more time off,
which I think is going to help.

So here's to 5 more easy treatments.......

so, truth be told, Maya deserves this drink more than I do.  She has taken over so much responsibility, is working triple hard to keep this ship afloat, and so, raise a cup for her, please!

Chester was pretty interested in my cup right before the Big Smashola....

...yes, that's the top of the compost bin.

MINI UPDATE

as I head into treatment #7,
the beginning of the downward slope,
I wanted to share:

my MRI on Monday was totally clean.

good good news,
phew.

okay, that is all.
back to bed.

THE VIEW FROM THE OTHER SIDE....

I now officially have as many treatments ahead of me as I have behind me.

This is a major landmark.

HALF WAY.

and it's good, because my seeming-endless supply of positivity seems to be flagging a little.
I'm tired.

This whole business is not fun.

Two weeks ago, when I ended up in the hospital with a relatively scary road bump
(ie. pulmonary embolism x3, seriously, 3 pretty largish blood clots in my lungs), I started thinking,
"Hmm... maybe this whole thing isn't going to go as smoothly as I thought!"

And for the last few weeks, I spent days giving my self injections of blood thinners into my stomach,
thank goodness that's done, I've gone to the anti-coagulation clinic at least twice a week to check the levels
of how thin my blood is (more needle pokes.... often having to have two or three because the calluses on my finger tips are so beastly from rock climbing... TAKE THAT!) and had to take pills every night to keep my blood thin so no more clots.... this means lots of bruises, it means small cuts bleed for a long long time (shaving is a treat, thank goodness I only do it once a week...) it means I have to be super careful about
bumping my head (uh... rock climbing??) it means that I have ONE MORE THING TO WORRY ABOUT.

Well, I've just about had it with worrying about stuff....

I'm feeling like a fraction of my former self... I'm not dealing with stress very well, little tiny things feel like major major things... and hanging with 30 8 year olds every day (sorta, seems like I'm in the classroom less
and less) there are a bazillion little things that crop up every minute.  By 2 o'clock, I...am...spent.
Then dash dash to the anti-coag for more needle pokes, or quick scribble out some sub plans (thank all that is meaningful that Monica [my awesome sub...er, co-teacher] is totally amazing, totally on top of things, totally helpful and supportive.... just one more of the long list of people keeping it all from crumbling away.

And so, I missed posting after the last treatment.... I owe you a number 5 as well as this number 6.

For some reason, number 5 was pretty easy.... comparatively pretty breezy....  maybe it's because I spent two days laying in a hospital bed, only taught 1 day in two weeks, plenty of down time? maybe.
Well, at least it felt easy.... but then the week or so afterward was a slow, creepy, tired out time.... the
treatment didn't hit me so hard DURING, but after? yipes, I didn't really recover... then the next treatment
comes along, I'm super tired, not sleeping well, not feeling well, and number 6 was pretty rough. Saturday night and I'm still feeling beat up.

Right after number 5, I got the crazy idea that it was time to make a pie. Apple Pear Ginger... yum. my first butter crust.

Fiona wanted to make her own pie.  This is a blueberry pear baked in a mason jar. awesome!

During the offweek we went to the coast to celebrate Maya's birthday..... not a bad view.

BUT IT'S NUMBER 6. halfway. phew.

WILL MY POOR BELLY EVER BE THE SAME??

twice daily injections of blood thinner are starting to leave their mark... yipes.