POT HOLES IN MY LAWN... or... I AM THE ZEBRA

things never go as planned,
there is no script here.

I'm in the hospital again.

this time it's those darn blood clots in my lungs... pulmonary embolism x3.

what started with a mild discomfort in my chest yesterday afternoon, became startling, breath-stealing pain last night.
but it was mostly gone when I woke up, but it was back soon enough. if I took a deep breath: sharp pain. if I breath shallow enough not to hurt: I'm panting.

well, my wife saved me again.

around 10:15 this morning, I was standing at the office copymachine, running off some packets, trying to control my breathing, our wonderful office staff says "your wife is on my phone."

and my wife says, "you're going to the ER, I'm on my way to get you."

um, okay. relief? panic? both?

scramble into action, get me a sub, scribble some sub plans, sit down, watch the door.

oh man, this is the second time I've abandoned my class to go to the hospital. the last time, I never came back...they're going to trade me in for someone else... and if they don't, their parents will.

a tip: if you are a young person showing up in an emergency room, the magic words are: cancer, chemo, chest pains. you don't get to sit in the lobby and wait, you get to sit right down in a wheelchair, zoom, off to a room.  then tell your story over and over (I heard "appendix cancer? wow, I've never heard of that" from no less than 6 people since noon today...) a botched port-access, start a regular IV, off to get a cat scan, wait wait wait wait wait... the doctor plays banjo in a band and has a splint on his finger so he shakes hands with his left in an awkward but somehow more personal way , and the nurse maybe is a little hard of hearing, then you hear blood clot. actually three of them and you get to spend the night, or probably two. 

BUT I'VE GOT THE GLOBAL CARDBOARD CHALLENGE ON FRIDAY!!! 
http://cainesarcade.com/cardboardchallenge/

does this new thing (pulmonary embolism) mean that the old thing (cancer) is showing its ugly face around here again? maybe. could it just be the chemo-poison-induced-sedentary four days I just spent? maybe. could it be something else? maybe maybe.  could it just be totally frustratingly random?? maybe maybe maybe baby.

and now I'll be on blood thinners for 6 months, and constant blood monitoring, and a that's not to clear out the clots, we let the body do that on its own, but to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I heard a guy once tell, or maybe it was his Grampa:

Enough is enough and too much is plenty.

Indeed.