DONE WITH NUMBER FOUR

this round has been much easier,
but easy is relative...
I wouldn't wish this on anyone
it's miserable and haunting,
and my heart truly aches for everyone
who has to go through it, so many
much worse off than me.
I have so much support and help,
and more importantly, I know I will make it
through, there is a healthy end in sight,
a better place is just 8 more of these awful trips away.

sometimes the speed the days fly by is a blessing... I'm unplugged before I know it, feel better before I know it, feel good before I know it...
but it's also a curse: the time in between goes so fast... just as I'm feeling better, normal...that sinking feeling of 'here we go again'

but it will be over before  I know it, just a blip, something to be strong and proud about, because I made it through, safely.

it's hard though.
work is feeling hard right now,
a stress I don't need.
and can't let get to me.
my good good friend who lost someone
very very close to this,
told me a story that she said she thought she may have recovered if she had had less pressure, less stress.
I hear this, loud and clear, I believe it, and take it very seriously.
I need to focus my strength, choose where it goes, be smart about it, take help when it's offered, and ask when it's not.
a good lesson for all of us.

I'm a third of the way through.
do what I've done two more times,
and I'm done. I know I can.